Self-Care can be a very tedious thing most of the time. It may involve creating a budget for your spending, making a spreadsheet for your debts, denying yourself takeout meals and opting for homemade healthy meals, it may involve forcing yourself to stick to a morning routine and no longer avoiding your problems and feeling like the distraction is your solution.
Self-care is often times the most strenuous thing you have to do like force your way through a work out regime or cut off contacts and time spent with a toxic friend or doing more than one job just to make ends meet and also have the cash to put into savings.
At times, it is a way of accepting yourself the way you are and for who you are and not forcing yourself to be too many things at once. It is living life free and not having to take routine breaks to drop some oil into your bath, take a while to read books or stay away from your phone for a whole day.
The society today has made Self-care such a famous topic, but in a different light that is far from what it actually is. We feel like self-care is our escape from our own constant internal pressure. This is not true.
Self-care does not mean treating ourselves to salt baths and chocolate cakes. It is giving your life a meaning you do not always have to escape from. And this most times involves doing the things you least want to do.
You would have to look at your failures and disappointments boldly and find a new strategy to attack. It is not quelling your immediate desires or thirsts. It is the strength to let go and embrace new beginnings. It is having to disappoint some people just to find yourself. It is choosing to live the way other people won’t and living it happily.
Allow yourself to be you. Normal. Regular. Free. Unexceptional. You could have a dirty kitchen, it’s normal. You don’t have to go through agonizing training to develop abs or keep up with fake friends that do not see you for who you are.
It is realizing how much of your anxiety comes not from other factors but from you not living your life to its full potential because of the definitions of the society.
“The act of self-care has become another thing women are expected to be good at. ‘Did you use the right filter for that ‘gram of your impeccably prepared acai bowl?’ Are the candles you just lit in your Snap story made from organic hand-poured soy or are they that mass-produced factory shit? And how can we stem the inevitable capitalist tide from turning something as simple as self-care into yet another thing to be bought and sold? These are the things I wrestle with as I order Dominos in sweatpants under the guise of “being good to myself “. – Amil Niazi.
If you discover that you feel self -care is allowing yourself to bend to the gratification and whims of consumer self-care, then it means you are divorced from what self-care truly is which has nothing to do with “treating yourself ” but everything to do with “parenting yourself” and indulging in things for your constant and longterm wellness.
It is no longer making excuses for your liquor habits and procrastination with your stressful and disheveled life. Rather, it is your refusal to stop looking for ways to “fix” yourself when you really do not need fixing. It is time to take steps to truly take care of yourself and discovering that doing that actually solves all the things you were struggling to fix in the first place.
Self-care means owning your life. Taking the reins of tour life and guiding it along the paths of your choice. It is living your life like a hero and not the victim. It is the time you spend remolding your life such that the things you do no longer require therapy or time to recover from. It is choosing to live a life that feels good and not a facade of a life that looks good.
It is dumping every other person’s opinions in the trash if it is aimed at telling you how to live, eat, talk, speak, dress or whatever else. Time to be honest even if it means the whole world would turn against you.
Time to sort out your needs without relying on others. Time to realize and fully become the person you want and are meant to be. Time to face life and not use salt baths and chocolate cake to escape from it.
Time to fully become. Time to be you.